Well, Hester just happens to be the greatest un-living person alive! She is a mannequin at the American Apparel a few blocks from my apartment and I love her. Why? Why does one love a sunset, a taco, or Phil Collins? Personally I don’t get Phil Collins, he makes my nipples weep, but my roommates get him, and they enjoy his su su sudio-ness and I forgive them for having horrible, horrible taste in music because sometimes the reason why you love something is completely subjective. Who’s to say what’s better than what? This is why I think music reviews are completely pointless.
I suppose the best way I can articulate my attraction towards Hester is because you just don’t see that many pregnant, hipster mannequins in your life. She’s like a unicorn in the Bermuda Triangle who can make Phil Collins songs sound un-annoying.
Though she is unique (if anyone else knows of any other pregnant hipster mannequins, please, let me know), Hester makes perfect sense. I happen to live in a Brooklyn neighborhood where I sincerely believe you can get knocked up if you inhale too deeply, which is hard, because there’s a lot of really good smelling bakeries. What I don’t get about Hester, and it’s the reason why I adore her, is the horrible outfits she is forced to wear. How can anyone defend outfits like this?:
Or this:
Who is she giving birth to? A character from "Saved by the Bell?"
Being pregnant is hard enough! I mean, I've never been, but according to my friend who is, she can’t eat goat cheese, drink booze, smoke cigarettes, or sumo wrestle. What’s life without sumo wrestling?! I’ll tell you what it is, it’s torture. It’s like listening to this for eternity:
These outfits are the visual equivalent to Phil Collins.
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